#1 Most Embarassing Moment

Now we all have embarrassing moments and there are different degrees of embarrassment, but I can tell you which one was my #1 most embarrassing moment.

I was 13 years old and my family had just been stationed in Guam for a few months. I was going to the local middle school off base which was a dive. I living in Guam and the entire time I was there I hated almost everything about it, it is not a place I would encourage a person to move to, in the 9 months I was there I went through 2 typhoons and many other insufferable trials.

Anyway, being 13 years old I of course had a crush on a boy. The boys name was Damon and looking back at pictures now I wonder how it was that I had a crush on this boy, but they were different times, times when the rat tail was cool. So after school Damon asks if I want to go out and ride my bike with him.Im like.um YEAH! I grab my aqua green 10-speed and off we go. We are hanging out riding around having fun, going up and down hills, the base takes up the entire northern point of Guam which is pretty elevated and has steep hills and cliffs. So we are riding our bikes down these steep hills really fast and Damon turns to me and tells me about a really cool hill over in the officers housing area, do I want to go? (Um.hello..crush..yeah of course I want to go!) I say sure and off we go. Allow me to describe the landscape to you, we come into a circle with houses all along the side and grass in the middle of the circle, he then points to the hill for me, off to the left there is no hill it is practically a CLIFF, really steep and looks like it goes straight up and at the top is the base commanders house, with the American flag in the front yard and everything. The idea here is to go to the top of thehill careen you bike down thehill and go around the circle at the bottom of thehill as many times as possible. So being that I was a not so wise..or coordinated….13 year old with a huge crush I said,Sure I can do that! So we start to ride our bikes up thishill.but it is so freaking steep I have to push it up thehill. We get to the top of thehill (notice my over use of quotation marks) and I kid you not I might as well have been on the top of Mt. Everest.but remember I am in a fog because of my crush. Damon says that he will go first to show me how to do it, not to worry, he does it all the time, no sweat, off he goes down thehill and around the circle at least 2 times. Here I am at the top of thehill still, extremely nervous and with a horrible knot in my stomach, something is telling me not to do this..ah yesbut I am in acrush fog, so I get on my aqua green 10-speed and off I goWEEEEE…….AHHHHHH…….NOOOOOO……….HOLY COW!…….OH MY GOSH!…….(did I mention the brakes on my bike hadnt been working properly)………A TREE!……….THUD!……..

About a second later when I came around, I am laying on the ground and I look up and there are about 4 mothers and Damon looking down on me. Damon has a goofy smirk on his face like he is trying to keep from laughing, all the moms are in a panic asking me if I am ok. So I get up and I feel a little dazed but ok. I look and my aqua green 10-speed is wrapped around a palm tree, I am then informed t
hat I rode my bike
..and my face straight into the palm tree.if I looked hard enough I could see the imprint of my face in the trunk of the tree. So I grab my bike and I notice that behind the tree there is nothing.but the edge of a cliff and the roof of a concrete house 10 feet below.um yeah! I try and take my bike home, but the wheels are all bent and it isnt going anywhere, the moms offer to give me a ride, but I am feeling ok, I say I can walk (I am about a mile away from home). Damon and I start to walk home and he keeps asking me if I am ok, and being the cool chick that I was I played it off, sure I am fineall the while spitting blood.

I finally get home and walk in the door and I though my mother was going to freak! She went into a panic, asked me what in the world happened, she frantically tries to get in touch with my Dad, but he has left work early (this is before the time of cell phones), so she calls and ambulance. Ambulance pulls up in the drive way, my father pulls up in the drive way, freaks out and the ambulance carts me off to the hospital. I am still in shock feeling no pain yet30 mins later, I am in tears, my entire face if throbbing and bruises are forming all over my body. Finally I get medicated and the pain starts to go away. I get my x-rays done and the doctor informs me and my parents that I have broken my jaw into 3 pieces and dislocated my jaw, if I hadnt had braces, I might have lost half of my teeth. FUN! Ultimately my mouth was wired shut for 1 month. I spent an entire month sucking soups and protein shakes through a straw.

#2 most embarrassing moment, when the hot Orderly came in with a questionnaire and had to ask me when my last bowel was..I was 13.I wanted to die!

What? You ask what happened with Damon? Well Damon and I never happened, when I got back to school after breaking my face on a palm tree trying to impress him, I found out that he was going out with Kat, the home schooled girl with the prepubescent overdeveloped chest……Go figure!


  1. Odette says

    My most embarrassing moment? I was 7 years old, getting ready for school & I could not find a pair of clean panties underwear that would fit, so I borrowed 1 from my sister Liz who was much heavier than skinny me. All day long at school I had to hold on to the undies through my outer clothes. I got a break when I was sitting down in class, but had to remember to hold them up by the waist line each time I had to stand up. It seemed like the day would never end! Finally, I left school & as I walked across the street, I made a run for it & somehow lost the grip on my panty waistband & to my horror, I almost tripped when they had fallen down to my ankles in the middle of the street! I scooted my little feet all the way between 2 parked cars & pulled up the undies & decided not to look at the interested eyes from passing vehicles & ran all the way home. If I’d known better, I should have just left the panty on the street & ran all the way home without them!

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